By Lindsay

As I walked up the steps to reach the door of the office I was newly hired at, emotions of first day jitters, excitement, anticipation & nervousness, swirled inside me.

Sometimes there are moments in life when you can feel the wheels & cogs turning & groaning as a new chapter begins. I paused at the door for a moment, as this felt like one of those times.

I walked inside & greeted my new coworkers. I had only met them briefly for an interview 2 weeks before; the interaction wasn’t bad, so I had no reservations or negative preconceptions.

Little did I know, 1 of these people would become the most difficult person I had ever had to deal with on a regular basis. I had a few years ahead of me of dealing them 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

It would not be an easy journey for me. The difficulties began on this first day.

I received a tense greeting in reply. As the first week wore on, things did not improve.

Our personalities were as different as night & day. We did not understand each other on a personal level; things that I did were misinterpreted, & I am sure I misunderstood them in return on occasion. I’m not mean spirited & I try to be nice, but I’m not perfect by any means.

These circumstances made working together difficult enough without the personal digs this coworker made at me. For example, they commented that my house was too small & that a health issue I had was probably psychosomatic.

As a very non confrontational person, I am more on the quiet side; this coworker being the opposite, confrontational & abrasive, was difficult for me to deal with.

I felt that this person was mean to me every single day, most of these occurrences happening without cause to my knowledge.

It was clear this coworker did not want me there. If I asked a question, the response I received was nearly always in a nasty tone, even if the question was legitimate or benign.

While I tried to do a good job, I was learning a lot of new things & of course made some mistakes. I later discovered this person did not want me to be hired because I was inexperienced, which gave me some insight as to why they treated me the way that they did.

Our differences in work ethics created a struggle for me as well. I would be trying to work on as much as I could & do it efficiently, while they would spend their time inefficiently. Occasionally, this put some of their responsibilities on my plate, which infuriated me.

Although my new boss was a nice person, I had to work closely with this difficult coworker. So after about a month at the job, the thought, “What have I done leaving my other job to come here?” was a daily occurrence for me.

Now, I’m not saying I was perfect & innocent. After being poked with a stick everyday, eventually you want to yank the stick away & smack the person poking you with it. I fully recognize & admit that I didn’t always deal with our differences well.

As a non confrontational person, my method of dealing with conflict is similar to a turtle 🐢 . I withdraw into my shell. I avoided this coworker as much as I could.

If they said something mean or infuriating to me, sometimes all I could do was look at them for a moment then go back to what I was doing. Biting your tongue is better than returning the blows, right? But it also didn’t resolve anything. Although, I’m not sure that a constructive conversation was possible for us.

After a little over a year working at the job, I experienced some major spiritual growth.

God opened my eyes through a you tube video & there was no turning back! It was the most amazing experience.

I discovered that I had been living as a lukewarm Christian. My heart was set on fire for God & His word. It changed me for the better & I was grateful for it.

While this spiritual awakening was epic, as all Christians know, being saved doesn’t automatically make everyday life easier. My situation with this coworker continued to be a burden for me.

I didn’t leave the job because a terrible cocktail of anxiety, dealing infertility & a miscarriage, stress, constantly trying to do better, & being zapped with the effort of doing so, left me with no energy to focus on such a major undertaking as job hunting. I was just getting through each day as it came at me.

So, each day I had to work with this difficult person, being too drained at the end of each day from getting through the day to change my situation.

““You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven. For he causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what are you doing out of the ordinary? Don’t even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:43-48‬ ‭CSB‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1713/mat.5.43-48.CSB

“But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:20-21‬ ‭CSB‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1713/rom.12.20-21.CSB

“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭CSB‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1713/eph.4.32.CSB

Coming across scriptures about loving your enemies & forgiving others as Christ forgave me, I felt convicted. I prayed about it. I asked God for help dealing with this coworker.

We had been in our house for only a few months before I got the new job. I missed my best friend from my previous neighborhood & I hoped to find a new friend closer.

Even though this coworker was consistently mean to me, every now & then they made comments about wanting to be friends, which greatly confused me, because that didn’t align with how they usually treated me.

The thought occurred to me, maybe the new friend I hoped for was right in front of me?

After lots of scripture study & prayer, I went to work with a renewed attitude toward this coworker. I relied on God & made good faith efforts.

I felt God at work in me & it was an amazing feeling!

Formally, this process of God working in us to become better versions of ourselves as we follow Him is called sanctification. Let me tell you, it isn’t easy, but it is a good experience!

We even tried socializing outside of work once, something I would never have been able to do without God! As our personality differences were too much for me, I chose not to socialize again. But, I hoped a corner would be turned at work.

However, my coworker’s attitude did not change. They continued being abrasive, mean, confrontational & inefficient.

I knew God was working in me here but I could feel myself losing traction; as I said, you can only get poked with a stick everyday for so long before you react.

“Then Peter approached him and asked, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?” “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:21-22‬ ‭CSB‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/1713/mat.18.21-22.CSB

I was doing my best to forgive & let go whenever conflict arose, but I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy considering how often it was happening.

After a particularly frustrating encounter, the straw broke the camel’s back.

I slipped all the way to the base of the mountain of progress God had led me up from the valley of dealing with this coworker. The weight of years of struggles crashed into me like a wave & I allowed it to sweep me away from shore.

I knew God was at work in me but I had nothing left in me to hang on. I full on withdrew into my shell 🐢 & made every effort to work separately as much as I could.

The difficult coworker left about a year after I slipped. When they left, I had not made efforts to climb back up; I only had so much in me & my journey of infertility was weighing on me.

I remain disappointed in myself that I allowed my frustration to turn me away from what God was doing in my heart.

While I continued growing in my relationship with God in other aspects, I wonder how much progress I could’ve made if I had held on. I hope to do better with the next growth opportunity God puts in my path.

But I learned an important lesson; God will never give up on you! I was the one who gave up. He was always there, waiting to pull me back up.

With God nothing is impossible & He can get us through anything if we fully rely upon Him!

This chapter was not an easy one, but I learned a lot & the chapter that followed was my best yet!