By Lindsay

Why can’t we accept compliments anymore, especially well meaning ones from the right people?

When grocery shopping recently, my son & I were waiting in line behind a young woman having a rather boisterous phone call with a friend.

Her volume made it impossible to ignore. She was fired up because upset with her boyfriend. Wait for it, he’s a real piece of work!

Apparently, this guy had the audacity to tell her she is beautiful.

Why is that a problem? She went on to explain to everyone in the immediate area of the grocery store.

“He never compliments me on my intelligence, my degree, or how I’ve advanced my career! He only ever tells me variations of ‘I’m beautiful‘!”

Hmmm 🤔 anyone else see the problem here?

Her boyfriend is her boyfriend; that’s a niche category of her life. Her relationship with her boyfriend is at least partially based on attraction. Of course he should appreciate the whole package, but overall, the relationship is romantic in nature, making such a compliment appropriate and even expected from him.

Based on their having a romantic relationship, if anyone should be telling her she is beautiful, it should be him. If he didn’t comment on her beauty, wouldn’t it be safe to say that would offend her too, or at least make her suspicious of his loyalty to her?

Lastly, I think 99.9% women would say that your boyfriend/fiancé/husband finding you attractive is fulfilling on some level. That’s part of the relationship; romance, attraction, fulfillment.

Now, her boss sees how she uses her education at work everyday. Her boss makes decisions on potential promotions based on work, drive, ability, etc. Her boss would likely be the one to compliment her the most on her education & her career, if in no other way than during performance reviews or by awarding a promotion.

Let’s say her boss commented on her beauty. Minimally, that is not appropriate. Wouldn’t that offend her? She may perceive that her accomplishments in her work were awarded because of her looks & not her intelligence and competence. It could make her uncomfortable; it could result in an HR complaint.

So ladies, I ask you to take a deep breath 😮‍💨 & accept the next appropriate compliment you receive. Life can be hard, & if someone is taking time to brighten your day with a compliment, that’s not something to take for granted.