By Lindsay

People love sharing unsolicited advice & opinions, especially about parenting. Some of it can be helpful, but a lot of it isn’t.

Chances are, most of the below won’t be shared with you, but you probably would appreciate some of it because it is practical.

So here is my list of unsolicited advice for you to sort through, new mama:

You need laundry bags.

I didn’t know washing machines could clog. I had never washed anything as small as new born baby socks & nursing breast pads before.

After two visits from the washing machine repair man, I learned that washing machines can (& will!) get clogged with such small items. You will clog your washer if you wash baby socks & or nursing pads without putting them in a laundry bag.

I recommend putting the laundry bag for such small items beside the hamper so you can easily sort the laundry. If you put the small items into the bag, you won’t be digging for them among your baby’s other clothes, which helps prevent a little sock from sneaking in to sabotage your washer.

Sleep & plays are the most practical outfits.

I kept our son nearly exclusively in “sleep & play” style pajamas for the first 6 months of his life. Here’s why:

• 🍌 > 👖When (not if) a diaper explosion 💩 💥 happens, you can unzip the whole outfit to get right to the damage. The ability to peel off an outfit like a banana peel makes less mess than having to try to pull pants off, which has the potential to smears the mess further down your baby’s legs.
• Babies need 1 layer more than we do, so this style outfit usually keeps babies a comfortable temperature year round. Choose a fleece sleep n play to help keep warmer in the winter.
• ❌ 🧦 Sleep n plays have footies, so no chasing down new born baby socks!

Buy bottles, a breast pump & formula even if you are planning to exclusively breastfeed.

I had hoped to exclusively breastfeed my son, but I didn’t produce enough milk & had to fight hard to establish a decent supply. Even then, I had to supplement with formula.

Part of establishing my supply required pumping, which I wouldn’t have known without the help of my lactation consultant. *Before you buy a pump, know that some health insurance plans may supply pumps*.

You may be aware that there was a formula shortage in mid 2021 due to scary recalls. Parents continued feeling the impact well into 2023.

To protect your baby from potential recalls, buy a canister of formula in your third trimester. That way it’s not too old, but potentially long enough to see if a recall pops up before your baby begins to drink it.

If you plan to nurse, you need a nipple shield.

New babies nurse so frequently, you’ll likely become raw. Nipple cream doesn’t always help. My baby nursed so often & for so long that I was raw and bleeding. I had white hot pain every feed until I used these. It was unbelievable actually; I was in immense pain, then put a shield on, & felt no pain. I was able to bear 🤱 again!

Keeping shields clean is very important to prevent infections in both baby & mama. Be sure to wash after every feed.

Of course, you’ll want to see a lactation consultant or doctor when something is hurting; don’t use these without medical care.

Be prepared for recovery at home to stay comfortable.

Labor is called labor for a reason. It’s hard on your body so it is a lot to recover from. The hospital will likely send you home with a few things to help you stay comfortable, but personally, I went through what they sent & still needed more. If the hospital is giving you something & it is helping, place an order while you’re there to have whatever it is ready for you when you get home.

For example, these perineal ice packs helped me stay comfortable, so I recommend having a box ready at home, as the hospital only gave me a few extra.

Hunting For Coupons & Deals Isn’t As Hard As You’d Think.

There are lots of coupons & deals readily available, for example:

• Amazon & target offer goody bags for opening registries with them.
• Target often offers a bonus gift card for purchasing large quantities of diapers. Stock up while you’re pregnant & these gift cards will help with other things you need! I recommend buying 2 boxes of each size diaper if you can.
• Sign up with the Similac Rewards program to receive coupons! Because of their coupon program, I never bought formula without a coupon. The lowest value coupon I ever received was $2. Most often, I received $5 coupons. They usually send a complimentary mini canister of formula too when you first sign up.

Don’t go crazy on teethers or pacifiers.

With my care giving experience mainly resulting from dogs, I knew that puppies need chew toys. So, when I was pregnant I stocked up on pacifiers & teething chew toys. My son wasn’t overly into either & barely used half of them! Everyone is an individual with their own preferences, even this early in life.

Focus on quality instead of quantity when it comes to toys & keep the toy population low.

I bought maybe two baby toys while pregnant. One day while trying to keep my little man happy during tummy time, I realized the two I bought weren’t going to cut it. Panicking, we ran to target after his nap. As I filled a cart with toys, I kept thinking, I can’t believe my baby has no toys!

Fast forward 6 months, between my panic shopping trip, Amazon’s suggestions & generous family, my son had way too many toys.

Doesn’t seem like the worst problem to have right?

However, it is recommended to clean your baby’s toys every few days – once a week depending on the type of toy. So the play room full of little toys becomes a significant chore if the population is left unchecked.

To ease this burden, look for easy to clean toys. For example:

• Only purchase machine washable plushies.
• Look for dishwasher safe toys like Green Toys – bonus they’re made from recycled milk jugs & are high quality.
• Try toy rotations to keep the same toys interesting & to make cleaning the toys an easier project.

Further, too many toys isn’t always the best for babies. Too many choices may overwhelm them. A smaller, carefully cultivated group of toys engages them best.

Consider a baby toy subscription like Panda Crate, which sends age appropriate, fun & educational toys in the mail monthly. This helps you budget for toys, always have something age appropriate available & keep the toy population stocked with thoughtfully selected toys.

If you need help, ask for it.

If you’re at the end of your rope & you have a good support system, there is nothing wrong with using it. You’re only human.

Do what works for you & your baby.

There are so many different ways to parent! If you & your baby are healthy & happy, what you’re doing is working. Just because someone says something to you, doesn’t mean you have to listen. Learn to let the comments & opinions roll off your back – you are the parent so you are the shot caller. No one knows your baby like you do.

Let go of obligations.

While this is an incredibly special chapter, you’re going to be exhausted & you’re going to be going through a huge adjustment. You’re getting the hang of caring for your baby, getting into a new routine, & healing from birth. That’s a lot! As such, this isn’t the time to hold yourself to all the obligations that you normally do.

For example, if like me, you’re an introvert & you don’t like people holding your baby, hosting guests will be extra difficult when you’re running on 3 hours of sleep.

Maybe you haven’t been able to clean & organize the house to your standards.

Maybe the person requesting the visit is someone who always over stays their welcome & you’re afraid of nap time being jacked when they won’t leave.

Mama, DO NOT let obligations take away from this special time with your baby! If you need to say no, say no. I’d even recommend no visitors the first month while you’re getting your sea legs – which can be under the guise of any excuse that works for you if you don’t want to be candid about it.

& Lastly… Enjoy this time, however that works for you.

The newborn phase goes so fast. Your baby will constantly change right before your eyes.

One day, your baby will be grown up. You’ll get a shower without anyone screaming frantically for you the whole time you’re out of sight. You won’t be changing diapers & reading the same book 10 times. You’ll sit down & eat an entire meal & sleep through the night without interruption… & you will miss your baby terribly.

Chores will always be waiting for you, but you won’t always have a snuggly new born wanting to be held. My son was a contact napper, so I didn’t have nap time to catch up on chores until he was 1.5 when he outgrew them. The house was a little messier than I would’ve liked, but my heart was so full that I never regretted it.

Maybe one day you’ll have grandchildren- but that’s your child’s time to be a parent, not a second shot for you. You will literally never have this again. Remembering that can help you through tough days.

So even when you’re running on a drained battery, remember that this time is fleeting. Don’t wish the time away, savor it & enjoy it, however works best for you, because this is your time with your baby.

❤️